This week I received an interesting Email in my business account.  I thought at the time it seemed “scammy”, but still sent a polite reply just in case.   By the second email though, it was obviously a scam, and by the third message, I decided (with encouragement from Dave and I.T. bro Paul) to just have a lot of fun with it.  To be on the safe side, we removed some identifying details off my website first.  The results are as follows:

Message 1:
This is Rev Mark Robinson,I have contact you to know if you carry pillar candle in stock,i need you to get back to me with the price on Stylos Pillar Candle Trays .Sizes: Small = 10″ x 3″ x 7″, Medium = 16″ x 3″ x 7″, Large = 19″ x 3″ x 7″.let me know the type and size that you have in stock or you can make a special order for me.I will like you to get back to me with a price on that now okay so that i will know the quantity that i will require for my order asap.Let me know if you accept all major Credit Card as the for of payment so that we can procced.Kindly get back to me now so that we can procced..
Regards..
Rev Mark Robinson…

Reply:
Hi Mark,
I’m not sure that you have contacted the correct person. I run a wedding flower business and do not stock pillar candles for sale. I purchase them from decor hire companies/craft supply stores if and when I require them for any weddings I provide flowers for.

I wish you luck in your search for the products you require.

Best regards,
Belinda Muller
FlowerChix.

Message 2:
HELLO BELINDA,
THANK YOU FOR THE MAIL AND CAN YOU GET BACK TO ME WITH THE TYPES OF WEDDING FLOWERS THAT YOU CARRY NOW SO THAT WE CAN PROCEED..

REGARDS..
REV MARK.

Reply:
Hi Mark,

I’M SORRY I ONLY PROCEED WITH WEDDING ORDERS AFTER AN OFFICIAL CONSULTATION HAS TAKEN PLACE.

Regards,
Belinda.

Message 3!!!:
Hello,
Thank you very much for the mail and i want you to order this WEDDING and i will like you to get back to me with the price on that so that i will know the quantity that i will require..its going to be picked up at your location as soon as its ready for pick.Let me know if you accept all major Credit Card as the form of payment so that we can procced with the full payment now..Kindly get back to me with the price now on that now so that we can procced with the full payment on my Credit Card now you can contact me with your contact Number as well…
Regards..
Rev Mark Robinson…..

Reply:
Hi Mark,

As per your request, I have attached a quote for an ENTIRE WEDDING, complete with bride and groom. Due to you declining a consultation to discuss your specific requirements, I have provided a quotation for our “Gold Plated Platinum Deluxe Wedding Package” which is AVAILABLE NOW!
Should this not suit your price range, we have the “YeeHaw, It’s a Weddin’ Y’All Package” complete with authentic rusty pick-up trucks, COMING SOON!

We accept payment by Cash, Personal cheque, solid gold lemmings, or Sendorian Plintos

For further details please call
+61 7 3835 4666 or 1800 333 000 (be sure to ask for the Fraud Division)

Regards,
Belinda Muller
FlowerChix.

Attached:
scamwedding1

*Please note that the above phone numbers are for the ACCC and the Australian Federal Police respectively.

Interestingly, I never heard back from him. *sigh*

Last week, Dave and I had a friend visit.  This friend proved their utmost friend worthiness by bringing over cake.  Not just any cake – a Cheesecake Shop cake.  And not just a Cheesecake Shop cake – a large Cheesecake Shop cake.  Not knowing what our favourite cake might be, she thoughtfully opted for the half/half option of chocolate mud cake, and classic cheesecake (what else?).  Like I said – very, very cool friend!  We all chowed down over coffee and chat, and when it came time to go home, our incredibly awesome friend refused to take ANY of the cake home with her, despite my insistence.  I looked forward to enjoying delicious cake with my daily cuppa for the next few days.  I was feeling so good-willed, I told our housemates that they were also welcome to some cake, and they would find it in our fridge – or so I thought.

The next day saw me held up in appointments, busy-ness and away from home until after dinner.  It was during what began as an innocent chat with Dave later that he mentioned that he’d taken the cheesecake to work with him.  Now Dave has a somewhat irritating habit of not just taking the portion he will eat that day to work for lunch, he will take the entire lot – head of lettuce, loaf of bread, 500g tin of tuna – you get the picture.  This didn’t ring any alarm bells (it should have) as mud cake is my favourite, and I assumed he’d just taken the easy to remove cheesecake half in it’s foil tray.  However, my blood ran ice cold when a few seconds later Dave continued with “…while {work mate’s name} was eating his mud cake…”  I hastily interrupted with “You took the mud cake too?!!”  Dave, nonchalantly says “Yeah.  I thought you didn’t want it.”

WHAT?!  I can’t even begin to comprehend what he was thinking!  His reasoning:  That I tried to make our friend take some cake home with her means I didn’t want it.  I was being POLITE!  My actual desires were to snatch the entire cake and run off cackling maniacally to some hidey-hole and not come out for three days.  I was furious.  Beyond furious.  I was almost speechless with rage (but not quite).  Dave sat confused while I gesticulated wildy, ranting and raving about how I was so angry with him I felt sick.  How dare he take the ENTIRE CAKE to work to share with his work mates…And his boss…And his boss’ kids…And his boss’ wife…And his boss’ wife’s mother… and not me!? He didn’t even ask if I wanted any!  Not only that, now I’m a liar to our housemates who probably wondered if I was some sort of sick prankster luring them into our dismally empty refrigerator with the promise of non-existent cake!  How could he???  I continued on and on about not even knowing the man I married, the inconsideration of his actions, the sheer lack of thought, etc, etc, etc.  I then demanded he go and buy me a new cake.  Right then.  At 9:30 at night.  He said no.  Eventually, through calming down – outwardly – and sharing my side rationally, I got an apology.  But still no cake!

Now I know this blog is full of amusing, hormone induced over-reactions, but do any other women out there see where I’m coming from?  I am a little bit normal aren’t I?